Church Bulliten Bloopers

Everyone seems to love "bloopers". There are special features on DVD movies that include goof-ups and faux pas. So, here are some church bulletin bloopers to tickle your funny bone. My comments are in red.

Ushers will eat latecomers. (nothing like a little incentive to get to church on time)

Low Self-Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 to 8:30 p.m. Please use the back door. (They really must be feeling low)

The Pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday morning.

Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children. (I don't think I'll give my recyclables to them after all! lol)

The concert held in Fellowship Hall was a great success. Special thanks are due to the minister's daughter, who laboured the whole evening at the piano, which as usual fell upon her.(Ouch - that musta hurt.)

Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.(Self Explanatory)

During the absence of our pastor, we enjoyed the rare privilege of hearing a good sermon when J.F. Stubbs supplied our pulpit. (Ouch! Poor pastor...are his sermons really that bad? lol)

Thirty-two members were present at the church meeting held at the home of Mrs. Marsha Crutchfield last evening. Mrs. Crutchfield and Mrs. Rankin sang a duet, "The Lord Knows Why." (Ok-so they were a little off key. hehe)

Pastor is on vacation. Massages can be given to church secretary. (Sounds more like a spa than a church. lol)

Evening massage - 6 p.m. (again - sounds a bit like a spa...)

The audience is asked to remain seated until the end of the recession. (I think this one might be a little hard to do)