Job Offerings

There are lots of people seeking work at this time of the year. College students are now finished and in search of summer jobs. As well, since some companies have been forced to downsize, so many people are out on the job hunt. In this economic time, here is what some companies are offering to perspective employees. Would you go to work for the company offering THESE incentives??


1. COMPETITIVE SALARY: We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors.

2. FLEXIBLE HOURS: Work 55 hours; get paid for 37.5.

3. GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS:Management communicates, you listen, figure out what they want you to do.

4. ABILITY TO HANDLE A HEAVY WORKLOAD: You whine, you're fired.

5. CAREER-MINDED:We expect that you will want to flip hamburgers until you are 70.

6. SELF-MOTIVATED:Management won't answer questions

7. SOME OVERTIME REQUIRED:Some time each night and some time each weekend

8. DUTIES WILL VARY:Anyone in the office can boss you around.

9. COMPETITIVE ENVIRONMENT:We have a lot of turnover.

10. SALES POSITION REQUIRING MOTIVATED SELF-STARTER:We're not going to supply you with leads; there's no base salary; you'll wait 30 days for your first commission check.

11. CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE: We don't pay enough to expect that you'll dress up; well, a couple of the real daring guys wear earrings.

12. SOME PUBLIC RELATIONS REQUIRED:If we're in trouble, you'll go on TV and get us out of it.

13. SEEKING CANDIDATES WITH A WIDE VARIETY OF EXPERIENCE: You'll need it to replace three people who just left.

14. PROBLEM-SOLVING SKILLS A MUST:You're walking into a company in perpetual chaos.