Funnny Phone Messages

What kind of message do you have on your voice mail? Mine is just one of those boring ones that say who we are and to call back. If you could think up something creative, what would you put on your voice mail? Some people had some time on their hands and came up with some funny messages. Enjoy:

1. "Hi. This is John: If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my financial aid institution, you didn't lend me enough money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. If you are a female, don't worry, I have plenty of money."

2. "Hello. Now it's your turn to say something."

3. "Hi. I am probably home, I'm just avoiding someone I don't want to talk to. Leave me a message, and if I don't call back, it's you."

4. "Please leave a message. However, you have the right to remain silent. Everything you say will be recorded and will be used by us."

5. "Hello, you are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages. My owners do not need siding, windows, or a hot tub, and their carpets are clean. They give to charity through their office and do not need their picture taken. If you're still with me, leave your name and number and they will get back to you."

6. "Hi! John's answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets."

7. "Hi, I'm not home right now but my answering machine is, so you can talk to it instead. Wait for the beep."

8. "Hello. I am David's answering machine. What are you?"

9. "If you are a burglar, then we're probably at home cleaning our weapons right now and can't come to the phone. Otherwise, we probably aren't home and it's safe to leave us a message."